very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
