Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
