Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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