I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
