Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize