Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
