I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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