He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
