im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
