Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize