honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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