Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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