break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
