Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Your penis caused this!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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