Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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