Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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