Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I will be naked everywhere
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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