are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
