Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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