We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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