just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
