dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
