she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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