He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
