WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize