So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Boobs are out for the taking
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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