You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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