I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
