she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
