Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
