operation have a gay friend backfired
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
