last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
