Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
