***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
