I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We left an ass print on the piano.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
