I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
handjob tips. give me some.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
