is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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