I just cut my nipple shaving
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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