Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
