I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize