well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
