WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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