I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
