What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
