I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
