I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
