Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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