you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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