Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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