insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
