I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize