my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
