That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
