Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
