YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
