She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
