I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
