so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
