Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
