I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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