cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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