Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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