I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
