please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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